Dreaming In Monochrome

Dear 1986 Alicia,

Hi. I’m you, twenty four years in the future. I decided to write to you after watching a video that asked me to write you a postcard while it played views of the house you’re living in now, one that I haven’t been in for a very long time.

My postcard to you said, “Hold on. It’s going to get better. I promise.”

I mean that.

Hold on. He’s not going to be there forever to hurt you. It’s going to be hard for what seems like forever, but he is going to go away and not be able to hurt you any more. You’re going to grow up and be bigger and stronger and he’s already afraid of you and that is why he hurts you the way he does.

Hold on. You have so much love waiting for you, that I can’t even describe it. Right now there are people who are waiting for you to find them, and love them. Right now they are having their own pain, but they are holding on. When you meet them, it’s going to be magic.

Hold on. People are going to be mean to you, when you realize what you are. It’s going to hurt, and remember when you’re sitting in a bathtub with his gun in your hand that that Love is waiting for you. It’s going to slip, and you’re going to catch it and be glad it didn’t go off. Other people are going to be glad it didn’t go off, too.

This path you (we) are on is a hard one. I don’t really know why we chose it, but here we are and we have to keep going. Every choice you make is going to bring you here, to this moment, when I am typing to you in 2010. There aren’t any flying cars, and we never did get to Space Camp, but other good things happened along the way. We never did get to hold Cyndi Lauper’s hand, but we did sort of turn into a bad ass like Joan Jett.

Some advice: Listen to Gramma. Come home when you feel like she needs you. I can’t ask you to change more than that, because it might change this and you’re going to like this when you get here.

Some things: You’re not stupid. Nor ugly. Nor abnormal. You are made of stardust. You are Good for Something. You are a good kid, and it’s not your fault. None of it. Not a stitch. It’s okay to like girls – a lot of them are going to like you, too. Some of them are going to love you – don’t be afraid to let them in. You’ll see.

Hold on. It’s going to get better. I promise.

I love you.

Everybody here does, too. We’re waiting.

Love,
2010 Alicia

P.S. That scar on our finger is going to fade into two little marks. Don’t worry about it. Girls will dig it. Oh yeah and try to take better care of the Millenium Falcon. Trust me, you’ll want it later.